10 Things You Never Thought You'd Say as a Mom

Motherhood. Everything you hoped for and nothing like you expected. Seriously, how many times a day do you think to yourself, “I never thought I’d say that sentence!” or “I guess this is my life now!”

Girl, I see you.

 
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And with that, it’s time for another round of Things You Never Thought You’d Say to Your Kid:

  1. I’ll start: Oh, no, sweetie we don’t taste other people’s blood!

  2. Kendra: Ummmm nope, we don’t eat food out of daddy's shoe.

  3. Michelle: Honey, we don't stick our head in the toilet. (She liked making ripples by blowing on the water.

  4. Emily: No, cats don't eat toilet paper.

  5. Haley: It’s not nice to stab people with your unicorn.

  6. Cherise: I don’t care if the unicorn has diarrhea, it still needs to go in your room.

  7. Tiffany: I can't count how many times I have said "We don't lick the dishwasher, windows, stuffies, or insert favorite here!”

  8. Kendra: You can pretend to be a puppy, but you don’t need to pretend to poop in the backyard.

  9. Bean: Next time you lean over the bed and puke on your brother’s head, could you tell us instead of rolling over and going back to sleep?

  10. Cristina: You can look at your poop in the potty if you want to.

Tip of the iceberg, #amiright?

But here’s something I’ve been thinking so much about that I want to leave you with today. I remember a time last year whenever anything remotely uncomfortable or challenging or unexpected would happen with my kids and I would automatically think, “I’m not equipped to be a mom.”

I’d enter my crying toddler’s room to find piles of puke all over her bed and think, “I’m not equipped for this.”

I’d be desperately trying to get the kids to bed before I had a mental breakdown and think, “I’m not equipped for this.”

I’d hear the funny, horrifying, and sometimes deep and impactful questions my girl would ask me and think, “I’m not equipped for this.”

That is a lie.

Motherhood is hard enough without beating ourselves up and doubting our abilities and worth. We are equipped. I am equipped for motherhood. YOU are equipped for motherhood.

 
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How do I know? Because the Creator of the whole universe gave you those kids. He doesn’t make mistakes. And He tells right there in the Bible this simple truth: “What He has given you, He will equip you for.” (Hebrews 13:21)

  • Does it mean you’re perfect? NO.

  • Does it mean that He’s right there with you every step of the way cheering you on? YES.

  • Does it mean you should know everything there is to know about parenting? NO.

  • Does it mean that grace and forgiveness are yours for the taking? YES.

No matter what lie you may be believing about yourself right now, I want to offer you some hope. When you get into the practice of pinpointing the lie and replacing it with the truth, GOOD THINGS HAPPEN. By believing the truth you are agreeing with God about who He says you are. You are a child of God. He is crazy about you! And He’s crazy about your kids, and He is proud when He watches you mother them.

Listen, I know how daunting it is to begin confronting the lies you believe in your worst moments. That’s why I created the What’s True About You Guided Journal. It walks you step-by-step through this process of fighting lies with the truth. The stories in the journal will reflect your own. The questions will give you a starting point in digging deeper, and the God who loves you more than anything will take it the rest of the way.

This process is the exact thing that helped me break the “I’m not equipped for this!” cycle. I am so happy to say that I no longer believe this lie. I am free, my friend. (Ahem, I am still working my way through lots of other lies though! One at a time!)

I wish the What’s True About You Journal was ready to rock right now, but I’m thrilled to say it is in production as we speak. If you’re not on my email list yet, now’s the time! My email community is the first to know about all. the. things. - including the launch of this journal.

In case no one else tells you today, you’re a really great mom.

Lisa GraftComment
What If You Gave a STRANGER a Ride and THIS Happened?!?

How many times have you seen someone walking on the side of the road and thought, “Hmm, I wonder if I should stop to see if they need help…” I have a bunch of times, but then the gremlins in my head tell me that he is probably a murderer and I don’t have time and this isn’t my job and all the things.

But what if you took that risk and something beyond your wildest dreams and expectations happened?

 
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Enter, one of my new heroes, Mother of the Year, Jessica! Jessica took her what if’s and threw them out the window when she saw a mother and her two daughters walking down the road right before an impending rainstorm. This mother needed a ride to the women’s shelter after escaping an unsafe situation.

Jessica gave this mom, Nicole, her number and the friendship grew from there. Check out what Jessica says about how this one ride changed both of their lives.

She has two girls and just wants a better life for them. She was kicked out of her shelter because she went to visit her father on Father's Day and her return train was late. When she was late they made her wait 7 days to get back in. With two young kids, I couldn't imagine being in the position of giving up my kids or making them sleep on the street. I rallied friends and family and the moms in the [Mother of the Year Facebook] group, and we got her a hotel room for 6 days. I helped get them rides to apply to state aid for the last couple of weeks.

I was able to get her an interview because my best friend runs a Pilot truck stop in Indiana. She did great at the interview and now has a full time job with benefits. She should have a place of her own in 2 days. I am monstrously stressed and have fallen in love with her kids, but I am not very well-off myself and am starting to stretch myself a little thin. A mom from the group just mailed me a gift card for Walmart, and I will give it to her to help stock her new apartment. One mom rallied her friends and has sent so much support, including suitcases for easier travel for this family.

I am hoping so hard that this will help her get going in life, but I'm pretty sure I will worry about her and her kids forever.

When I asked Jessica why she picked them up in the first place, this is what she said:

I always offer rides when I see moms with kids. I was just without a car for over 6 months and it is so hard to get around. Usually people turn me down, but she said yes! I've gotten help all my life. I just want everyone to try and help everyone!

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Jessica, you are amazing and an example to us all.

What’s the lesson for the rest of us? Pay attention. Lift your eyes out of your own circumstances to see, really see, the needs and opportunities that await you. Don’t buy into the lie that you’re too busy, too messed up, too fill-in-the-blank to love people well. God can use your hard times to help others. God can use your good times to help others. God can use you to help others in every day ways.

Now what I’m not saying is that you need to pick up any ole stranger on the side of the road! I’m saying that if you pay attention, God will create these beautiful moments for you to step into. Most of the time, you’ll probably never know the end of the story like Jessica does, and that’s ok. Generally, it’s enough to know that another human’s smile or sigh of relief is because you stepped out of your comfort zone and said yes.

Thanks to Jessica for sharing her story. Thanks to all the moms who sent money, gift cards, and prayers that will help get Nicole back on her feet.

And you guys, listen. Belief that small moments can create big life change is exactly why I created the Mother of the Year Award stickers! So if you’re looking for a practical way to start practicing practical kindness, buy a Sticker Pack today! Plus, if you want to help Jessica by way of gift cards, money, or train tickets, send me an email and I’ll get you connected!

Lisa GraftComment
What If I Told You You've Got NOTHING to Prove?

I let fear get the best of me this week. It was so embarrassing, but I learned a lesson that I, unfortunately, have had to keep learning over and over. Maybe someday I’ll get it right.

This week is BIG for me as we open registration for the most fantastic, incredible Women’s Event that doesn’t suck and isn’t precious. That’s right – RESET Yoself tickets can be purchased tomorrow (Friday, June 21st!) Oh the details, sweat, and tears that have already been poured into this event to ensure that we are honoring God, ourselves, and YOU with our time and talents. I cannot wait.

But the pressure is real. It is. And fear whispers over and over, “No one is going to come to this thing.” “Why would anyone pay to listen to what you have to say?” “No one is going to take you seriously.”

On and on and on.

 
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And now add into that mix that the revamped, updated, and completely BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING What’s True About You Guided Journal is going to the printer on Friday, and we’ve got a recipe for disaster. A recipe for comparison, self-doubt, and shame when the first two things take over.

So when our Radio Theology team sat down to plan this week’s show, we talked through the overwhelming nature of this week! As I was getting all worked up emotionally, a really beautiful girl walked by, and I was in instant comparison mode. Checking every one of her features against my own.

And then I got caught by my co-hosts. Busted. How humiliating. And I cried as we joked about how comparing myself to a young 20-something really raised my self-esteem and also allowed me a fresh opportunity for root for her.

Cue the shame spiral, as I began beating myself up for comparing, for getting caught, for allowing fear to take hold of me in a situation where confidence usually reigns. For the next 24 hours, I kept looking for ways to redeem myself in front of my co-hosts. Two of my very best friends, who love me for who I am.

Maybe if I walk in with a huge smile and cute outfit…Maybe I can write a really great bit for the show…maybe I can…what if I…

Until a miracle happened. The Holy Spirit whispered in my ear, “You have nothing to prove.” And I believed it. I sat in my car outside of my office and reveled in the fact that I am not the sum of my mistakes or successes. God has created me so perfectly unique and has given me every single thing I need to accomplish the work He has given me to do.

When you know that, really KNOW that, what could you possibly have to prove and to whom?

Certainly I don’t have a thing to prove to two of my very best friends -- who cheer for me, believe in me, and value my voice.

I know I’m not alone in this, which makes it slightly less embarrassing to share. Who do you compare yourself to? Who in your life do you feel like you need to prove yourself to?

Is it the mom next door who always seems to look put together? The tutor you hired to give your kid some extra help this summer? Your ex? Your spouse? God?

Now, let’s get you out of the shame spiral.

  • Find the lie. When you’re comparing yourself, what are you believing to be true? It’s probably something close to thinking that you are defined by what other people think about you. That’s a lie.

  • Replace it with the truth. The truth is that you are dearly loved by the Creator of the Universe, and He has called you His very own daughter. His opinion of you is the only one that matters, and He has already given you freedom from your mistakes.

  • Imagine your freedom. What would tomorrow look like if you were able to live confidently in the fact that you’ve got nothing to prove? What would you accomplish with the energy that you usually put into striving harder for an unattainable goal? Imagine yourself filled with confidence and peace. It’s possible, friend.

Sounds easy, right?! Practice makes perfect…or as close to perfect as we can get. You’ve got nothing to prove, and neither do I. So let’s settle into raising our babies the best we know how and loving and supporting each other along the way.

And when the glorious What’s True About You Guided Journal is in my hands, I’ll let you know, so we can practice telling ourselves the truth about how awesome we really are! You are loved, friend!

P.S. If you haven’t signed up for the Mother of the Year email list, RIGHT NOW is a perfect time! Not only do you get a Free Self-Care Guide, you’ll get a coupon for the store, AND will get a discount code for the RESET Yoself Women’s Event in your email TONIGHT. Don’t delay!

 
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Lisa GraftComment