Has Your Kid Ever Asked Alexa for THIS?!

I am 1 in 6.

39 million Americans now own a smart-speaker…that’s 1 in 6. And guess what?! I’m 1 in 6. We’ve got Alexa giving us our morning weather, setting timers, and playing the Tangled soundtrack….all at the whim of my 4-year-old.

What a life.

And so this week, let’s all just revel in our Mother-of-the-Year-ness as we celebrate, cringe, and giggle at this new world where our tiny humans interact with technology that we barely understand ourselves. Today adds some much-needed levity to my learning-to-lead-with-love-and-discipline-consistently streak. I’m too tired for takeaways and lessons learned this week. Who’s with me?

 
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Let’s just laugh at these stories from fellow Mothers of the Year:

Say Whaaaaaat?!

  • Cirena: Benjamin (4) asked, “Alexa! Where’s my scarf?”

  • Jennifer: (From the other room, max volume) Alexa: "I can't find the song butt crack penis." 

    (In my head- "thank God that isn't a song!") Out Loud: "Noooooo potty talk!!"

  • Martha: My 4 year old asks Alexa to "drop her a beef" aka drop a beat.

  • Michelle: David, “Hey Alexa, did you poop?”

  • Valerie: 3 year old: Alexa, play Mickey and the roadster racers

    Alexa: I don't have any info on "Mickey is a racist."

  • Sara: “Alexa - play the poop song!”

  • Amanda: We have the Google Home and for the longest time my son called it “booble“ along with asking it to play ambulance, police car and firetruck sirens. Scared the crap out of us when we would hear a random police siren in our living room!

  • Rebecca: My daughter (2 1/2) has her own iPad. It’s like 10 years old and it has apps on it for when she gets to play with it. Instead of calling it an iPad she calls it a “p pad.” Of course my husband and I have taken to calling it a p pad as well. We will forget where we are and nonchalantly call it a p pad. We were at her doctor’s office the other day and she was getting squirrelly while waiting so my husband said “Mommy brought your p pad. It’s in her purse.”

  • Elizabeth: My 22 month old thinks anything that plays music is Alexa, so she'll be in the car, store, restaurant and just yell ALEXA!!!!

Kids are surprisingly resourceful:

  • Tori: Well, today as my husband and I were wrangling our 2 year old for a nap ("you go that way, I'll go this way") I got his leg and was reeling him in when he yelled out "Alexa! Help me here!" It made us laugh so hard he got an extra 10 minutes of freedom.

  • Kelly: I’m looking at my emails, see something from Amazon, and get confused because I hadn’t ordered anything. I asked London (6) during the fidget spinner craze......

    “London, did you order something from Amazon?!”

    London says “no!!!”

    I said, “Then why does my email say this galaxy fidget spinner from China will be here in two days?!”

    She says, “Because the other one I ordered was taking FOREVER to get here!!”

  • Dana: One time my 3 year old asked Alexa for rainbow cake and police caution tape, and that's what showed up at our door 2 days later. Thank you, Prime!

Moms can be resourceful too:

  • Alycia: I set a timer for snack time and then instead of asking me they go ask Alexa how long until snack time.

  • Michele: The other night, I tucked in my oldest son. After, I headed to the kitchen and the Alexa on my counter said "Now connected to Nexus 6P". I knew immediately that my son had turned on his "phone" (an old deactivated phone that he uses on WiFi for games) and the Bluetooth connected to Alexa. I zoomed back upstairs, went into his room and stood there silently. Hands on hips. Full on mom glare. He tried to pretend that he had no idea why I was in there, but then he fessed up and handed me the phone. As I was leaving he asks me, "How did you know?!" I said "Alexa ratted you out..." Busted!

  • Laura: My 5-year-old asked Siri what shoes matched the dress she was wearing. The funny part is Siri actually pulled up pictures of shoes and then she was like, “See mom! I need THOSE.”

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And there you have it. It’s all I’ve got this week.

But listen, if you’re anything like me and you’re looking around your life thinking, “Someone get me outta here….even for 5 minutes.” I SEE YOU SISTER. I’m sending God’s help your way. I’m tired. Tired of the endless winter. Tired of the lack of personal space that comes with having a 4 and an almost 2-year-old. Tired of the girl child getting out of bed 5 or 6 times each night because she’s worried a babysitter is coming (at 3 a.m.?!?!?!?!) Lord, have mercy on us all.

And He will. He is. He’s in the thick of it with us. He cares about how much sleep we get. He cares about our connections with our kids. He cares about the state of our hearts and our little families. Rest in the fact that He’s near to you, not far away. He’s for you, not against you. And He created you on purpose, for a purpose. And gosh, does He love His kids. Even if they ask a tiny round speaker to play a song about feces.

And while you’re here, why don’t you start your 5-minute-reprieve with this FREE Self-Care Guide. Soak it in, mama. You just might need this.

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Lisa GraftComment