If This is What You Think of Me, You've Got It All Wrong!

I was in a conversation recently with our radio team to define our roles on the show and tighten up how and who we speak to in our audience. As the only female on our show, I talk to all the ladies. Easy as that, right? Wrong.

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Daron - bless him - father of 3 boys, married to (Mother of the Year) wife Julie for 17 years…said, “So, Lisa, you preach self-care which makes it sound like you have it all together, but to be honest, most of your stories sound like you’re kind of a hot mess.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I said to him, “Ohhhhh no no no. Self-care is ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS I’ve figured out about motherhood. I’m just doing the best I can.” 

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So, in case you’re thinking like Daron was, let me set the record straight. Here are 3 real things I’ve figured out about #momlife:

  • Self-care: I’m a TYPE 2 on the Enneagram (read all about it and test for free – it’ll change ya!)…meaning that I’m a helper, driven by a deep desire to generously give to others. The problem I figured out long ago is that if I don’t prioritize taking care of myself, I can’t possibly continue taking care of others in a healthy way without totally freaking the heck out and ruining all sorts of situations. (Think oxygen mask on an airplane – I mean, how many people can you save if you’re dead?!) Motherhood has magnified this significantly, so I’d rather not take any chances. Bring on all. the. self-care.
  • It takes a Village: Cliché, I know. But literally it takes the entire village - as big a village as you can gather and maintain. A village of family, colleagues, best friends and good friends, mom friends and friends you don’t have to be a mom around, neighbors, church friends, BABYSITTERS (can I get an AMEN!?!), social media friends (shout out to our Mother of the Year group), and everyone in between. Life is hard, and raising kids whose actual lives depend on you is even harder. Take all the help you can get.
  • I need Jesus: Yeah, I know I don’t talk very much about this, but it can’t stand on the sidelines for this one. You and I were made on purpose and for a purpose, and as we walk through life doing our best to figure it all out – learning more about ourselves and more about God and what it means that we are connected to Him – our peace and clarity as women and mothers comes only from a relationship with Him. If you aren’t sure about this, that’s ok. But I’d challenge you to open your eyes and your heart just a little bit to the possibility that you are dearly, dearly loved by the Creator of the Universe. Knowing that will change everything.
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Well, shoot. Didn’t mean to take ya to church there! But I want you to know (and I’m reminding myself, too), that it’s okay to be exactly who you are. To mess up. To cry, then laugh, and cry again, until you aren’t sure which one you started with and which one the situation actually calls for.

It’s ok to admit to yourself and those around you that you aren’t perfect and that being a mom sometimes isn’t all the glory and snuggles you thought it would be. About 10 times a day I ask myself, “Why didn’t anyone tell me about this as they congratulated me on pregnancy?!” (Example: toddler girl, refusing to dress, eats spoonfuls of jelly while naked, wipes her mouth on my shirt, uses the toilet and tries to wipe herself but decides to rinse her dirty bottom and toilet paper in the sink instead, all before 8 a.m. and before my coffee has disguised the fact that I was up 17 times with the baby overnight).

Ahhh the joys. Wouldn’t trade it for the world, but would trade some of it for an uninterrupted night’s sleep.

This is what I know. And you? What have you learned about motherhood? Share your wisdom in the comments below.

And if you haven’t already, join the Mother of the Year Facebook group and get your Sticker Pack so you can encourage and inspire moms who need to hear from you. We need you in our village!!!

Lisa GraftComment