Mom guilt. You’ve probably experienced it in the last 20 minutes. If you need some encouragement, peace, and to hear that you are not alone, read on!
Have I mentioned (a thousand times already) that I LOVE our I Am Mother of the Year Facebook group? It’s amazing.
Case in point:
Katie shares, “So I work full time. My oldest is in all day kindergarten, and for the most part loves it. It's the end of the year and there are 100 things they are doing that would all be awesome to watch, but she gets that I can't be there. Mostly. Today she asked why I couldn't go to her color run tomorrow, especially since she (ahem I) did really well fundraising.
I knew I couldn't get out of work for "reasons" and she knew I couldn't get out of work for "reasons" so why does it hurt so badly? I just want to call in sick and watch her walk around the block.”
I read this and my heart absolutely broke. I do work full-time so my kids are in full-time daycare, but they aren’t in school yet, so I hesitated in commenting because I’m not missing activities yet. Truth be told, all I would’ve had to say is, “Hang in there!” but I wanted to say more than that because I. HATE. MOM. GUILT.
Mom guilt is so crippling. So overwhelming. It’s the lie we tell ourselves and allow others to tell us, too. That we’re not enough. We’re not doing a good job. We are irreversibly screwing up our kids in a single bad moment. There’s enough pressure and concern consuming our every thought, and being swallowed by mom guilt is the last thing we need!
So, while I contemplated what I could say to this mama, an amazing thing happened. The group did exactly what our group does. Cheered her on with comment after comment after comment.
Here are my favorites. Take these to heart if you’re battling mom guilt for any reason!
Beth: Girl, I'd love to release you from that guilt! I am a stay at home mom, and I still haven't helped with a single thing in my kids' classes this year…You show your daughter you love and care for her in a million other ways. Take a moment to think of all the ways you've shown her JUST this week. Then take a deep breath and let the guilt go!
Tabitha: I like to think at the end of the day, when they are 18 years old and headed out into the world, they won’t remember the times you weren’t there, but the times you were. And they will remember the times you were there outside of school the most. Tucking them in at night and taking care of them when they were sick. Providing for your family is definitely an important job as well! Don’t let mom guilt get the best of you.
Angela: I worked only 1 day a week and did all the stuff until I got divorced. Now it’s not an option. I go to what I can and try not to feel guilty about what I can’t. Their dad or grandma goes sometimes. Honestly, I think in some ways they’re better for it. They see me working hard and yet valuing them and being there when I can. They don’t take for granted when I can. It’s built better priorities and character for all of us. I wouldn’t trade it if I could.
Imagine this! If you were able to let go of the mom guilt for one whole day, the way your responses to your kids might be kinder, the way you deal with stress and anxiety may be healthier, and the way you love yourself could lead to more peace.
All I can say is, UNSUBSCRIBE from Mom Guilt! You don't have any space for this in your emotional inbox.
Thanks to Katie for sharing so she doesn’t feel like she’s the only mom in the world dealing with this. Thanks to all the moms who commented with words of wisdom and support. We’re all in this together. The more we’re honest with ourselves and our “people” the more likely we are going to be able to grow as women and mothers. We can learn to let the guilt go. We can know that we are amazing mothers. And we can experience true transformation.
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