What Counts on the Road to Winning Mother of the Year?
Everything. Like these 8 things.
The Generous Food Pyramid: Anything that is derived from fruits or vegetables counts in this category. Pickles are cucumbers. Ketchup is tomatoes. French fries are potatoes. Peanut butter and jelly is the perfect combination of whole grain, protein, and fruit.
Peanut Butter and Jelly: Here’s where it gets fun. Anytime I give Josie a PBJ I give myself Mother of the Year because of what I mentioned above. Anytime she gets something other than PBJ for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, I also award myself the honor. Seriously, guys, are you getting this? Being extremely, overly generous to yourself is what it is all about.
The Donut Ninja: One time I promised Josie a donut on the road to see Grandpa and Grandma. The gas station we stopped at only had Donettes, so I bought the big bag (obviously), and passed her a couple. Then, because I’m human and was pregnant at the time, I couldn’t stop at just 2, so I secretly reopened the bag without raising suspicion, and shoveled in one tiny piece of heaven at a time until my pregnant self was full of sugar and regret. It was amazing. I held conversation with her, and even reclosed the bag. If you’ve ever tried to sneak ANYTHING (but usually food) past your toddler, you know what a victory this was for me. It felt good.
Reverse Psychology: Enough said, probably. But here’s what’s working for me now. Josie’s potty-trained and very adamant that she is only going to use the bathroom when she absolutely has to. But before bed, I really need her to go to avoid any nighttime wakings or catastrophes. So most nights my line is, “You know what, Josie? I bet if you sat on that toilet nothing would even come out.” And like magic, she’s up there tinkling. I act all surprised and impressed and she loves it. The downside is, she will no longer just go to the bathroom without me making this big fuss. But mission accomplished either way.
Formula Win: Cal is on formula, which is another story for another time. But dang, that stuff is expensive. And he has expensive taste which is even more expensive. And as we were figuring out which formula to give him, lots of moms suggested this super ridiculously expensive can of formula that was $40. $40!!!! For less than a week’s supply. And he hated it. So I called the company and asked for a refund. Turns out they can’t give me my money but they can send me 2 cans of what he uses now. And just for fun I called the store to see if I could get a refund on opened formula. Yes I can. Boom. Got $40 back in my pocket and 2 full cans of the good stuff for my little man. Life lesson: It doesn’t hurt to ask.
The Belle Dress: This one is actually legit. Josie was going to her first theatre experience to see the musical Beauty and the Beast. And I really wanted to get her a Belle dress. $22 at Target, ugh! I hardly spend that much money on any clothing items for myself. But I just couldn’t pass it up. I was like a kid on Christmas Morning, bursting with anticipation and excitement at the thought of giving this gift to her and then watching her wear it to the show. (Spiritual side note: this must be a glimpse into how excited and delighted God gets when He gives us all the great gifts in our lives!) It was worth every stinking penny.
Laughter is the Best Medicine: Punishing your kid is hard sometimes. But when I put soap in Josie’s mouth for talking back, I just can’t help it. I grab the first towel/burp cloth/sweater I see, bury my face, and giggle. And she doesn’t see me do this, so that’s why I earn the award.
Leaving Cal with a Stranger: Josie really really wanted to ride the escalator at the mall. You can’t bring strollers on those things, so I had a dilemma and it must’ve shown on my face, because the Guest Relations lady left her nearby kiosk and offered to keep Cal company while I took Josie for a ride. And I said SURE! I left my child with a stranger to watch my other child hop on the escalator like Buddy the Elf. It was awesome.
So there ya have it. Mother of the Year. You guys, we’re doing it. We’re awesome. And I’m pretty sure this list proves that. What crazy ways are you earning Mother of the Year status? Shout it out in the comments or in our Facebook group!